


The Little Lamb in Wolf's Clothing

by Anonymous



Series: The Little Lamb In Wolf's Clothing 'Verse [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Age Play Caregiver Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Age Play Caregiver Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Age Play Caregiver Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Age Play Caregiver Logic | Logan Sanders, Age Play Caregiver Morality | Patton Sanders, Age Play Little Deceit | Janus Sanders, Age Regression/De-Aging, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Angst, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Sweetheart, Crying, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Angst, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Is A Good Friend, Dark Sides As Family (Sanders Sides), Deceit | Janus Sanders Angst, Deceit | Janus Sanders Needs a Hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Non-Sexual Age Play, Panic Attacks, Platonic Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Platonic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Sympathetic Sides (Sanders Sides), Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:02:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28259670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Sometimes, Janus felt small.-This is age regression, don't like, don't read.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: The Little Lamb In Wolf's Clothing 'Verse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2085756
Comments: 77
Kudos: 223
Collections: Anonymous





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there, 
> 
> Before we begin, a couple of quick warnings and a disclaimer: 
> 
> I don't own any recognisable characters from this story. The only things that belong to me are the plotline, writing, and OC
> 
> This is age regression. If that's not your thing, don't read this.  
> Janus does speak badly of his regression from time to time. Nothing too horrible, but he's quite ashamed of it to begin with. This in no way reflects my views on age regression. 
> 
> If there are any tags that I've missed that seem important, or if I've written something with the potential to offend, please let me know. 
> 
> Now that's out of the way, enjoy the story!

Sometimes, Janus felt small.

There really wasn't any other way to describe it.  
  
Sometimes, when things got too much, too stressful, he'd find himself locked up in his room, near tears, wondering when everything around him got so _big._

Everything became hazy and foggy and he couldn't think straight, all he knew was he wanted to cry.

Suddenly, all he'd want to do is crawl into his way-too-big bed and cocoon himself in his way-too-big covers and never face the scary world again.  
  
Too bad Remus didn't seem to get the memo.  
  
"Hey Janny look what I-" Remus stopped in his tracks, eyeing the lump on the bed. "Jan-Jan? Janus?"  
  
Janus tried his best to muffle the whimper that escaped him, but Remus heard it anyway. He dropped whatever (undoubtedly disgusting) thing he was holding in his hands, before coming and sitting by the foot of the bed.  
  
"One of Those Days again?"  
  
Neither him nor Remus had any idea what exactly happened or why, so they'd just taken to calling them _Those Days._  
  
Janus poked his head out of his blanket cave, giving Remus the barest of nods.  
  
"Need a cuddle?"  
  
Another nod.   
  
There was a faint snap, as Remus changed his clothes, before switching off the lights and crawling his way into Janus' coocoon. Janus didn't hesitate, latching onto Remus and burying his face in the Side's sleep shirt, allowing a few tears to escape.  
  
"Oh, Jan..." came Remus' voice again, much too soft, much too gentle for Janus to even try and hold himself together.  
  
He sobbed into Remus' chest, truly ashamed that this was even happening. Here he was, the snake, the evil one, crying like a child in the arms of his only friend.  
  
Remus hushed him, gently rubbing his back, humming a tune under his breath that Janus didn't recognise, and was fairly sure Remus was making up as he went.  
  
That didn't matter though.  
  
It was a nice tune.  
  
Made him feel...  
  
Sleepy...  
  
-  
  
Janus was woken by the tell tale tug of a summons. His episode of... whatever it was, seemed to be over for the time being, but there was still a lingering fuzziness in his brain. Remus was asleep beside him, chest heaving as he snored heavily.  
Janus was tempted to ignore the summons, succumb to the delicious heat he was enveloped in.  
  
Those Light Sides didn't need him anyway. They'd find a way around whatever problem they had without him.  
  
Janus settled again, breathing a sigh and shutting his eyes, ready to fall back asleep.  
  
Another tug.  
  
Apparently the Lights were insistent. Well, so was he. The could deal with it without him.  
  
Tug.  
  
Janus cracked an eye open in annoyance. Did they really have nothing better to do? It was fairly clear he wasn't coming, so why even try?  
  
A harsher tug.  
  
Oh. _Oh no_. Realisation his Janus like a freight train. They weren't giving up. They weren't going to stop until he was up there. Even if that meant-  
  
Janus jumped out of bed, barely having time to snap himself into his usual costume and put on his best scheming face before he was yanked upwards by an invisible force.  
  
-

Janus opened his eyes, expecting to be met with the sight of Thomas' living room, but instead found he was somewhere he didn't recognise.  
It _looked_ like Thomas' living room, only brighter, happier, and dreamier. Somehow less real. It was everything the Subconscious wasn't.  
  
Janus realised, with a pang of panic, that he'd risen up in the Light Side Common Room.  
  
"-ello? Janus? Earth to Janus?"  
  
Janus suddenly became aware of someone's hands waving in front of his face. He blinked, eyes coming to focus on Patton. The Side was standing awkwardly in front of him, closer than any of them had dared to stand before.  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
The moral Side took a step back, and Janus found himself missing the closeness.  
  
"Hey there, kiddo! You back with us?" Patton's voice was as cheery as always and, for a second, Janus wondered if it was actually him the Side was talking to. But, as Janus listened closer, there was a strained quality to Patton's voice, telling him exactly what he needed to know.  
  
Janus nodded, forcing a neutral expression onto his face. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Virgil watching him silently.  
  
"Alright, now that Jack the Fibber is back from La La Land, let's cut to the chase. We don't need to keep him here any longer than we have to." Roman said, arms crossed.  
  
 _We don't need to keep him here any longer than we have to._  
  
A traitorous part of Janus saddened at that statement. The Lights really _didn't_ like him.  
  
"Well?" He drawled. "What was _so important_ you needed to drag me out of my room to talk to me about it?"  
  
"W-well," Patton began. "Thomas had a bit of a situation with one of his friends recently, a-and we were hoping-"  
  
"We wanted a liar's perspective on the matter." Virgil cut in.  
  
 _A_ _liar's perspective._  
  
Janus pretended he wasn't hurt by that coming from Virgil of all people.  
  
"Go on," he said, pretending to inspect his gloves impatiently. He could feel the fuzziness creeping back in. "I don't have all day, get to it."  
  
He really _didn't_ have all day. If they kept it up with the passive aggressive remarks, there was no way he'd be able to keep the fuzziness at bay. Then they'd all know.  
  
"R-right, yes," Patton stuttered as Virgil fixed him with a glare. "S-sorry, we really wouldn't have called you But we were getting desperate, you were our last resort-"

_We were getting desperate._

_You were our last resort._  
  
Tears pricked Janus' eyes, but he willed them away. He knew, logically, that Patton was trying to placate him, stop him from getting angry that he was called at all. But thinking logically was getting harder and harder as the fuzziness took residence in his head, covering his mind with a fog.  
  
He was no longer listening to what Patton was saying.  
  
He had to get out.  
  
He had to get out _now._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They were right. He couldn't be trusted. He was bad. He was bad. Bad. 
> 
> So bad. 
> 
> So mean. 
> 
> So terrible. 
> 
> Bad person. Bad. 
> 
> Bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT'S UP, PEOPLE? 
> 
> Now that I have your attention with my unnecessary use of ALL-CAPS (just checking you were still here) I'm going to provide a list of possible triggers:  
> Minor description of a panic attack/dissociation  
> Graphic description of cockroaches (bear with me, it's relevant, I promise) 
> 
> I think that's all for this chapter, as always, if there's anything I've missed, tags, warnings, anything, let me know. 
> 
> One thing I didn't mention last time was inaccuracies in terms of research. I don't have anxiety and have never experienced a panic attack, so if there are any inconsistencies, please do point them out. Similarly, if I've worded anything insensitively, tell me. 
> 
> Without further ado, I present, chapter two!

At some point, Patton's explanation had turned into an argument.  
  
One minute, Patton was talking, and the next, Roman and Logan were shouting over him.  
  
Janus didn't like it. He didn't like it at all.  
He wanted to leave but he couldn't. Virgil was watching. Virgil would stop him. 

He barely bit back a whine of frustration.  
  
"Why did you think it was a good idea to call _him?"_  
  
"I merely believe he would be able to provide some useful insight into the situation. None of our methods are quite as... unorthodox as his own, and I think that Janus-"  
  
Oh.  
  
They were arguing about him.  
  
He knew he shouldn't stay, it wasn't good for him. It wasn't like they were going to say nice things anyway. He should sink out, run away, do _something!_ He didn't even care Virgil was watching anymore!  
  
But his feet stayed stubbornly rooted to the floor.  
  
"You _know_ how he is!" Virgil had joined the discussion now. "His name is literally Deceit! Do you really think you can trust him to be _helpful,_ of all things?"  
  
They were right. He couldn't be trusted. He was bad. He was bad. Bad.  
  
_So bad._  
  
_So mean._  
  
_So terrible._  
  
_Bad person. Bad._  
  
_Bad._  
  
Suddenly, Janus was acutely aware of exactly how many layers he was wearing. The fabric of his tunic made his skin crawl. Made his skin crawl like it was made of thousands of little coachroaches. Remus would love to see skin made of cockroaches...  
  
The room began to spin, and Janus giggled, because it reminded him of all the carousels Thomas loved to go on when he was younger, with all the pretty unicorns, and the chariots, and the horses and-  
  
Oh. Now he was on the floor.  
  
For some reason, to him, that was the funniest thing in the world, because he just _couldn't stop giggling._  
  
"Janus?"  
  
Janus... That was his _name!_ Someone was calling him!  
  
He looked up to see Remus staring at him worriedly.  
  
When did Remus get here?  
  
Behind him, the others had congregated, watching Janus with varying degrees of concern.  
  
"Jan-Jan, you doing ok?"  
  
Ok? He was doing great! Why wouldn't he be? 

He smiled, giving Remus a thumbs up.  
"Yeah, I's good!"  
  
He proceeded to look at the rest of them, head cocked in confusion.  
"Why're you lookin' at me like that?"  
  
"Janus, you randomly started giggling in the middle of a serious discussion, then collapsed onto the floor," Virgil deadpanned, biting his thumb nail. "We're worried for good reason."  
  
The world stopped.  
  
He'd _what?_  
  
Panic gripped him like a vice as he struggled to take in a breath. He looked up at them all, eyes wide, as he gasped. 

What was happening?  
  
His hands drifted up to his head, knocking the hat off and grabbing fistfuls of hair, tugging harshly.  
  
The fog in his head was thicker than ever and he _just couldn't breathe-_  
  
_He needed to breathe-_  
  
A different set of hands took hold of his, easing them gently out of his hair. Another was gently tapping out a rhythm - a breathing exercise, he realised - on his leg. 

"Breathe in for four, Janus," came Logan's clipped tone, devoid of emotion and as impersonal as ever, but it made Janus feel warm inside.  
  
He felt cool fingers in his hair, massaging his scalp, before coming down to his temples. A purple hoodie was draped over his shoulders. Virgil's hoodie.  
  
He purred, leaning into Virgil's touch as the Side continued to massage his head.  
  
"Feels... good," he murmured drowsily, eyes slipping closed as the hands removed themselves from his hair, guiding him to lay against someone's shoulder.  
  
His mind felt like jelly, but it didn't matter because whoever he was laying on was so _warm_ he could just...  
  
"Is no one going to talk about how he was acting like a child five minutes ago?"  
  
And he was awake again.  
  
"Roman!" Patton scolded, halfheartedly at best. He himself looked like he wanted some answers.  
  
"What?" Roman shrugged. "I'm just saying what everyone else is thinking!"  
  
No one had a response to that, because it was true.  
  
"Age regression," Virgil said, abruptly.  
  
Janus startled, head shooting up, tears gathering in his eyes. He was hushed gently, and guided to lay back down.   
  
"Sorry, buddy," someone whispered. "You're ok, go back to sleep." 

And, for some unknown reason, Janus, ignoring any and all instincts screaming at him not to, complied.  
  
-  
  
"So, you're saying, _we_ made this happen?" Roman asked, incredulously.  
  
They had all gathered in a circle around Virgil, eager to finally get some answers, to be put at ease.  
  
What they heard was in no way comforting. 

Virgil shrugged.  
"Well, partially, at least. He was the one bottling up all the stress, but we were the ones who caused the stress in the first place."  
  
"Fascinating," Logan mumbled to himself, scribbling away in a notebook. "His mind reverted to that of a child's as an outlet for extreme levels of pressure."  
  
Remus looked thoughtful.  
"The way Virgey explained it makes it sound like this was the first time it happened."  
  
Virgil raised an eyebrow.  
"This _isn't_ the first time?"  
  
"No. It's happened before, like that one time he tried to apologise to Roman and he laughed at him-"  
  
The creative Side stared at the floor guiltily.   
  
"Or that time after the courtroom scenario- he was, like, _actually crying_ that time too! Jan never cries! You must've _really_ done a number on him- Oh, and there was twenty minutes ago where you summoned him by force and dragged him away from his nap-"  
  
"Alright, alright, that's enough," Virgil said, putting his hand up.  
  
"Poor Janus," Patton muttered, hand flying up to cover his mouth. "We've been so mean..."  
  
There was silence as everyone glanced at the Side sleeping on Virgil's shoulder.  
  
"Gosh, Jan," Virgil sighed, running a hand through the yellow Side's hair. "You're more of a mess than I am."  
  
Janus mewled, following the touch desperately. He shuffled closer to Virgil, very nearly planting himself in the anxious Side's lap. Logan watched, intrigued. 

"Remus, how does Janus respond to touch?"  
  
"He doesn't really let me hug him very often. The only times we've really cuddled is when he's small. I just figured he didn't like hugging me," Remus shrugged lightly.  
  
"Do you not think he might be mildly touch-starved?"  
  
Remus hummed.  
"Haven't really considered it, but he did hiss and nearly bite me that one time I put my hand on his shoulder..." He said, more to himself than anyone else.  
  
Logan adjusted his glasses.  
"Perhaps we should... encourage this regression of his. He may accept some affection from us in this state and we can find a way to gain his trust. It is highly unlikely he would ever trust us as an adult, but if we showed him we have no intentions of hurting him, he could be swayed."  
  
Patton nodded in agreement.  
"Yeah, it's high time we showed this kiddo some love."  
  
-  
  
Janus woke up slowly.  
  
He felt more rested than he had in months, because his pillow was strangely soft-  
  
He froze, the familiar scent of makeup and ginger tea invading his nostrils. He shot up, taking the hoodie draped over his shoulders and dropping it in Virgil's lap.  
  
They knew.  
  
They all knew.  
  
He stood, trying to keep his face as impassive as possible.  
  
"Nice to see you all, but I'd better get going," he said hurriedly.   
  
A hand caught his wrist.  
  
"Jan," Remus said, almost pleading. "We need to talk." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! 
> 
> You can skip over this, it isn't relevant, but for some reason I was thinking about how the different Sides pop bubble wrap, and now I have a strange urge to write about it... 
> 
> Anywhosies, that was really random but y'know...


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 25th everybody! 
> 
> Hope you're all having a fantastic day! 
> 
> Warnings:   
> \- THIS IS ANGSTY   
> \- As far as I'm aware, there is no graphic imagery, but if I've missed something, please let me know. 
> 
> This story was not supposed to be so long, originally, but here we are. Hope you enjoy!

Janus yanked his hand away, cradling it as if he'd been burned. He pretended not to notice Remus' crestfallen expression.   
  
He moved over to the couch, sitting down, propping his chin on his hand.   
  
"So," he began. "What is it that needs to be discussed so _urgently?"_

The words themselves were nice enough, but, paired with his mocking sneer and the malicious glint in his eye, Janus made it clear he didn't agree with them in the slightest on how dire the matter really was. He stared them all down, daring them to speak, to say anything.   
  
"W-well," Patton took the bait. He stepped closer, reaching out as if to put a hand on Janus' shoulder, but one glare from the Side had him stopping in his tracks. "We just wanted to tell you that i-it's ok that you regress a-and that we-"   
  
Janus raised an eyebrow.   
"That you what? That you _accept_ me? You love me? You care for me? After all these years, it's not any one of my attempts to show you my function is not all that I am, that my lies don't define me, that I'm just trying to look out for Thomas, it's _my show of weakness,_ that breaks you."   
  
"Oh, boo hoo, poor old _Deceit_ -" Janus spat the name like poison. "He's a bit muddled, a bit strange, and his methods are _unorthodox-"_ he sent a glare in Logan's direction. "But he's trying! And, everyday, he goes back to his home in the _cold, dark_ _Subconscious_ after another foiled attempt at getting his way! But we're the _heros,_ so we're going to _oh so graciously_ offer him acceptance! Is that what this is, Morality? Is it pity? A reason for you to go to bed tonight, truly still believing yourself to be a _good person?"_   
  
Patton whimpered, stumbling back.   
  
"Janus." Virgil said, shooting a warning glare at him, something he hadn't done in a while. "Stop it."   
  
It only served to make Janus angrier, though.   
  
"No, _Anxiety,_ I won't. I don't have to listen to you. You lost the right to tell me off long ago. You don't get to be my big brother again, after what you did!"   
  
Janus barely registered the feeling of warm tears on his cheeks, or the fact that he'd stood up at some point during his tirade.   
  
"You don't get to-" he choked on a sob. "You don't get to choose when to be there, if you leave, you leave. Me and Remus never needed you, anyway."   
  
He brushed imaginary dust off his tunic, straightening his capelet. There were still tears falling, but he didn't bother to wipe them away.   
  
"Whatever this was," he said, shakily. "I was a one off thing, don't count on it happening again-"   
  
"Nonsense, Janus," Logan cut in. "Remus told us that-" 

Janus fastened his eyes on Remus. Anger burned like a fiery pit in his stomach.   
  
"You _told_ them?"   
  
Remus paled, taking a step forward, hand out in a placating gesture.   
"Jan, I-"   
  
"Save it," with a flick of Janus' wrist, Remus' own hand was covering his mouth. "I thought you cared, Remus. I thought you were my friend."   
  
Remus now had tears running down his own face, streaking his eyeshadow and staining his hand purple. His attempts at speaking were muffled by his hand tightening around his mouth.   
  
Janus stared him down, heterochromatic eyes piercing.   
  
"Perhaps, I was wrong."   
  
He sunk out.   
  
\-   
  
"Well, that didn't go very well."   
  
Roman sat down on the couch, guiding Patton down with him. He pulled the moral Side into a hug, gently rubbing his arm.   
  
Virgil glared at the Creative Side.   
"You think, Princey? Janus nearly suffocated Remus!"   
  
Remus had finally managed to unstick his hand from his face, and was bent over, heaving deep breaths, hands resting on his knees.   
  
"It's fine," he croaked.   
  
Virgil turned to him, eyes ablaze.   
"No, it's not, Remus. He could've seriously hurt you."   
  
"Not like I didn't deserve it."   
  
Logan looked apologetic, advancing forwards and placing an awkward hand on Remus' shoulder.   
"I apologise, Remus," he said, stiffly. "I was unaware that he would react in such a manner."   
  
Remus gave him a weak smile, trying his best to appear happy, but a lone tear betrayed his expression.   
  
"I can't believe him!" Virgil fumed, pacing the length of the room. "He knows full well, never to use his silencing power when he's angry, he knows not to be so reckless!"   
  
He yanked Remus into a rough hug, resting his chin atop the creative Side's head.   
"Rem, I'm so sorry," his voice was barely above a whisper.   
  
Remus' shoulders shook with silent sobs.   
  
Roman stood abruptly, enraged at the sight of his twin brother reduced to tears.   
"When I get my hands on that snake-"   
  
"No!"   
  
It was the first time Patton had spoken since trying to talk to Janus. They all stared at him, mouths agape.   
  
"No," Patton said, softer this time. "He may have been harsher than need be, but what he said was true. It was all true. He were horrible to him, us Light sides, we didn't listen to a thing he had to say. We thought we already had him figured out, that he was the bad guy, the one we needed gone. We've done it for so long, no wonder he was angry at us for trying to fix it by saying he was accepted. He should've been accepted from day one!"   
  
"But he's a snake!" Roman protested. "He's a liar, constantly disguises himself as someone else, never tries to teach us his so called 'lessons' as himself-"   
  
"Don't you think he would if he could?"   
  
Remus couldn't help his outburst. He extracted himself from Virgil's hold, coming to stand toe-to-toe with his twin brother.   
  
"Patton said it before, you never listen to him as himself, so he does the next best thing! He disguises himself as someone you _do_ trust, someone you _do_ listen to, because at least that way, he can get a word in before you start accusing him of stuff! Seriously, Roman, how did you get beating someone up and robbing their unconscious body from an analogy about a _piñata?"_   
  
Roman didn't have a response to that.   
  
Virgil scrubbed a hand across his face, taking several deep breaths.   
"You're right. We can't let this go. He'll hate that we came after him, but we need to do this. For him, and for us."   
  
Remus grinned, his first genuine smile since rising up in the Light Side Commons.

  
"Let's go find that snake."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really was not as happy with this chapter as I was with the previous two, but I hope it's up to scratch. 
> 
> Merry Christmas to anyone who celebrates it, and if you don't, well, you're just as awesome and I hope you have a brilliant day anyway!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Rem! You found him yet?" 
> 
> "How do you even live here, with so many spiders?" 
> 
> "Ooh! Speaking of spiders, there's my lunch! Thanks Patton!" 
> 
> "Oh my- Remus, you can't eat those!" 
> 
> "Actually, fried spider is considered a delicacy in Cambodia-" 
> 
> "No one asked, Microsoft Nerd." 
> 
> They were here, in the Subconscious, looking for him. 
> 
> Involuntarily, Janus' lips curled into a snarl. Remus had brought the Lights here, into his domain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter four!! Honestly, I wasn't expecting to have this posted so soon, but I got excited and finished the whole chapter today, so here you go! 
> 
> Also, the next couple of chapters in the story are loosely inspired by a work by DannyisDone. They write Sanders Sides age regression on here too so, if you haven't already, I ask you to check out their work too!
> 
> Warnings:  
> \- Janus' self-deprecating thoughts  
> \- a lot of talk of bugs. Remus eats a spider at one point. 
> 
> As usual, if I've missed anything, please let me know.  
> Enjoy!

Janus rose up in his room, tossing his hat onto the bed. He sat down next to it, burying his face in his hands.  
  
He was alone. Well and truly alone.  
  
He was such an idiot. First he'd driven away Virgil, the one he looked up to, the one he considered to be his older brother.  
He'd broken down after Virgil left, didn't get out of bed for two whole days, hissed at Remus whenever he tried to get Janus to eat. Remus, bless his soul, was patient, didn't say a word when Janus finally came out of his room, looking like he hadn't showered in decades. Kept all of his thoughts to himself.   
  
Janus knew how hard that was for Remus - keeping his thoughts to himself. Being the embodiment of intrusive thoughts meant that Remus had many of his own, and that, paired with his extremely low impulse control, meant that he often didn't think before he spoke.  
  
Just like today.  
  
Janus didn't think it was possible, but somehow he felt worse. Remus had only been trying to help, getting the Lights to realise how much they were hurting Janus. And he'd repaid him by shouting, tearing their friendship to shreds in a matter of mere seconds.  
  
He'd driven Remus away, just as he had with Virgil.  
  
Now he was alone.  
  
So terribly alone.  
  
Janus stood, wiping the last of his tears away. He steeled his expression.  
  
He didn't need them. He didn't need anyone. He was fine, all alone in the Subconscious. Who needed friends anywa-  
  
 _"Rem! You found him yet?"_  
  
 _"How do you even live here, with so many spiders?"_  
  
 _"Ooh! Speaking of spiders, there's my lunch! Thanks Patton!"_  
  
 _"Oh my- Remus, you can't eat those!"_  
  
 _"Actually, fried spider is considered a delicacy in Cambodia-"_  
  
 _"No one asked, Microsoft Nerd."_   
  
They were here, in the Subconscious, looking for _him._  
  
Involuntarily, Janus' lips curled into a snarl. Remus had brought the Lights here, into _his domain._  
  
They were going to come into his space, telling him how _sorry_ they were, that they wanted him to come back, that they were going to _change_.  
  
How. Dare. They?  
  
He had to get out of here, Janus decided. He couldn't let them have their way. He wasn't about to be cajoled into joining Patton and his band of merry men, not if he had anything to say about it.  
  
 _"Should we check his room?"_  
  
They were getting closer. There was no time.  
  
Janus panicked, glancing around the room frantically. There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.  
  
He turned the doorknob to his room, grimacing at the answering groan as the door opened. He stuck his head out into the hallway.  
  
No one here yet. But time was running out. He could hear their footsteps coming closer.  
  
 _Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide._  
  
As if on cue, Remus' door swung open. Janus startled, head snapping in the direction of the movement.  
Through the darkness, he could make out a door, glowing an ominous jade green.  
  
Remus' door to the Imagination.  
  
Perfect.  
  
The Imagination, a world of its own, a place where you couldn't be found unless you wanted to be.  
  
Before he knew what he was doing, Janus darted forward, slipping into Remus' room. He came to a stop before the jade door, hand pausing on the intricately carved door handle.  
  
 _("Jan, I need you to promise me something."_  
  
 _Janus stared attentively into his best friend's eyes._  
  
 _"Yeah, Ree?"_  
  
 _Remus stood before Janus, placing a hand on the Side's shoulder. His eyes were more serious than Janus had ever seen them._  
  
 _"I need you to promise me never to come in here by yourself, especially when you're feeling like this."_  
  
 _Janus nodded._  
  
 _"Ok. Pinky promise, Ree-Ree. I won't.")_  
  
Janus huffed. He didn't need to listen to Remus either. He was just like Virgil, earning Janus' trust, then stabbing him in the back. Giving all his secrets to the Lights, whether he meant to or not.  
  
He opened the door, and stepped inside.  
  
-  
  
"Rem! You found him yet?" Virgil called, glancing around the Dark Side Common Room.  
  
He hadn't been here in a while, but it hadn't changed in the slightest. The couch was just as ratty as ever, covered in mysterious stains from whatever disgusting things Remus would bring from the Imagination.  
  
He noticed, wistfully, that the picture was still hanging on the wall. The very same one he took on his phone. The photo that had always been his phone wallpaper.  
  
 _(It was movie night in the Dark Side Commons._

_"Hurry up, Vee!" Remus whined, kicking his legs impatiently._   
  
_"I'm going as quick as I can, Rem!" Virgil shouted from the kitchen. "I can't make the microwave go any faster!"_   
  
_"Ugh, fine. I'll be patient. If you don't get here in the next two minutes, I'm picking the movie!"_   
  
_Virgil emerged from the kitchen, carrying a large bowl of popcorn. He placed it down on the coffee table, snatching the remote from Remus._   
  
_"Where's Jan?"_   
  
_Remus pointed at a pile of blankets on the other side of the couch. Virgil scrutinised it, finally spotting a tuft of brown hair sticking out from the very top._   
  
_Virgil grinned, pulling out his phone, beckoning Remus closer. They both pulled silly faces, and Remus ruffled the hair sticking up from the blanket cocoon._   
  
_Virgil pocketed his phone, giving Remus a mock serious look._   
  
_"Don't tell him I took this.")_

Janus did find out eventually. Virgil had the photo framed, and it soon earned a proud place on the wall, as the only photo they had of each other.  
  
"He wouldn't let me take it down, you know."  
  
Virgil startled, head whipping around to see Remus come to stand beside him.  
  
"He was angry, after you left. We both were. He let me break things, punch walls, wreak havoc on the kitchen, but never let me touch the photo. I guess, as much as he denied it, he did hope that you'd come back."  
  
Virgil said nothing, staring at the photo.  
  
"He missed you. We both did." Remus gave a broken sigh. "Why did you do it, Vee?"  
  
Virgil didn't have a good answer.   
  
"How do you even live here, with so many _spiders_?" Patton grimaced, gripping Logan's arm. He whispered the last word as if it was some kind of forbidden curse word.  
  
They had both just finished looking around the kitchen. Well, Logan would have done most of the searching, Virgil supposed.  
  
"Ooh, speaking of spiders, there's my lunch! Thanks, Patton!" Remus grinned, plucking one from a nearby web and swallowing it.   
  
Patton looked scarred for life. Virgil almost laughed.  
  
"Oh my- Remus! You can't eat those!"  
  
Logan adjusted his glasses. He seemed fairly annoyed with Patton hanging off his arm, but made no move to push the Moral Side away.  
"Actually, fried spider is considered a delicacy in Cambodia-"  
  
Roman poked his head out from behind the couch. Why he thought Janus would he hiding there, Virgil wasn't sure.  
"No one asked, Microsoft Nerd."  
  
Logan huffed, straightening his tie. Patton laughed, before tugging lightly on his arm.  
"Should we check his room?"  
  
Virgil stiffened. If there was one thing Janus hated, it was people coming into his room without permission. He was about to say as much, but, after seeing the poorly concealed worry on everyone's faces, decided against it.  
  
Remus seemed to hesitate but, after a moment of thought, gestured to a corridor at the end of the Common Room.  
"Yeah, it's the only other place he could be."

They all walked down the hallway, Patton gripping Logan's arm tighter every time he saw a spider. If Virgil wasn't mistaken, there was a faint blush painted across the Logical Side's cheeks. He brushed it off, resolving to investigate later.  
  
There was the sound of a door opening quietly, and scrambling footsteps. Patton froze, sending Remus a panicked look, which the Creative Side quickly brushed off.  
  
"Footsteps are too light to be Jan's. Plus, I'm pretty sure that raccoon from two days ago is still in here."  
  
Patton paled.  
"R-raccoon?"  
  
They stopped in front of a yellow door, and Remus began to rummage through his pockets, searching for something. The master key, Virgil assumed. Janus had given them both one for emergencies.  
  
 _"Only for emergencies." Janus had said, handing them both one each. "So that means no sneaking in at one am to put earthworms in our beds, Remus."_  
  
"Don't be such a wuss, Patton." Remus groaned, rolling his eyes. "It's harmless."  
  
"Raccoons are actually very aggressive creatures," Logan contradicted. "They are known to bite if threatened, and are carriers of rabi-"  
  
Patton turned paler than Virgil thought was physically possible. He glared at Logan.  
  
"What?" Logan asked, genuinely bemused. "I was merely correcting Remus' falsehood. Raccoons are, in fact, very dangerous."  
  
"Uh, guys?" Roman waved sheepishly. "Hate to interrupt, but-" he pointed at Remus' room.

The door hung open, giving them all a clear view inside. Nothing was really out of place, and there would've been no indication that anyone had even been in there, had it not been for the agape jade door on the inside.

"We may have a bigger problem on our hands." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so the plot thickens... 
> 
> Also, I decided to hint at some Logicality here. It won't be the main focus of the story, but I thought it would be fun to add!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janus groaned, kicking a rock in frustration. Maybe he should've listened to Remus. Only the Creative Twins really knew their way around the Imagination, knew all of its ins and outs, how it operated.  
>  The others rarely went in there, and when they did, one of the twins was accompanying them. 
> 
> Remus' warning was making more and more sense by the second.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter five!! This is really getting long, but the climax is in sight, folks! 
> 
> Warnings:  
> \- GRAPHIC IMAGERY!  
> Part of this chapter was written from Remus' point of view, so we all know what that means. If the warning applies to you, I've put indications in the text itself this time, as it's not as embedded in the story as it usually is. The indications are at the start and end of Remus' part and are written in bold, you can't miss 'em! 
> 
> As usual, if I've missed anything, please let me know. 
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!

Janus was cold.  
  
He'd been walking in the Imagination for who knows how long, and he was really starting to regret his impulsive decision.  
  
Hadn't he passed that tree five minutes ago?  
  
Janus groaned, kicking a rock in frustration. Maybe he should've listened to Remus. Only the Creative Twins really knew their way around the Imagination, knew all of its ins and outs, how it operated.  
The others rarely went in there, and when they did, one of the twins was accompanying them. Remus' warning was making more and more sense by the second.  
  
Stupid Remus and his stupid reasoning.   
  
Despite his regret, Janus kept on walking. He would be fine. He'd find his way out and hide in his room for the next few days. Who cares if the Lights wanted to talk to him?  
  
His hands were stiff from the cold, and he shoved them under his capelet in a futile attempt to warm them up. He only succeeded in sending chills up his arms.  
  
A creature scrambled past, and Janus gasped. It looked suspiciously like a honey badger, only with wings and bright pink. More likely Roman's creation than Remus'.   
  
Gosh, he hoped he wouldn't encounter any of Remus' creations in here.  
  
A gust of wind rushed through the forest, and Janus shivered, drawing his capelet tighter around himself. It began to rain.  
  
Perfect. Brilliant. 

At some point, Janus wasn't sure when, the trees had gone from being tall, happy and green to crooked hunched things, with gnarled claws. Some of them were barely husks of the healthy trees they should've been.  
  
Janus didn't like them at all. As the sun set, they cast long shadows, with thin spindly fingers looking like they were going to grab his ankles and drag him away, kicking and screaming.  
  
Janus was _not_ scared. He did _not_ jump when he heard rustling in the bushes behind him and he did _not_ scream when a giant moth flew right by his face.  
  
He would be fine. He _was_ fine. Everything was going to be ok.  
  
Eventually, to his relief, Janus found a little clearing. It was small, roughly circular, and had trees surrounding it. Those same twisted, ~~terrifying~~ mildly unsettling trees.  
At the very centre of the clearing, was another tree, very similar to the ones surrounding it, except this one was large enough for him to hide under and wait out the rain.  
  
It wasn't much, but after walking around for so long, Janus was happy to take what he could get.  
  
He hurried over, wincing as raindrops repeatedly pelted his face. He'd left his hat on his bed, so his hair was soaked, dripping water into his eyes.  
  
After what felt like way too long, he finally made it to the tree, huddling under the largest branch to shield himself from the rain. It did close to nothing, but it was the thought that counted, right?  
  
His capelet was thoroughly soaked now, and the water was quickly coming for his tunic too. He shuddered at the feeling of water droplets slipping down his back from his hair. Janus sat on one of the exposed roots and pulled his knees to his chest. The fuzziness was inching its way into his mind, but he willed it away.  
  
He really _really_ wished he had listened to Remus now.  
  
Out of nowhere, the rain stopped.  
  
Janus' head shot up, and he made a confused noise. He startled at the sound of a voice, whispering in his ear.  
  
"Hello, little snake. What brings you to my neck of the woods?"  
  
\- **GRAPHIC IMAGERY WARNING** \-   
  
If Remus had been worried before, he was downright terrified now.  
  
Janus had gone into the Imagination. By himself.  
  
Never in his life did Remus think Janus would do such a thing. Janus knew exactly how brutal the Imagination could be. He had seen Remus return from there, on multiple occasions, covered from head to toe in cuts and bruises. Janus himself was usually the one to patch him up.  
  
Remus remembered a particular occasion when he's returned from the Imagination and collapsed in front of Janus. There had been a large laceration on his stomach that had gotten infected. It was swollen and warm, oozing blood and pus. The skin around was mottled with bruises.  
  
Remus never managed to rid himself of the look on Janus' face when he'd seen it.  
  
"What're we going to do?" Virgil cried, pacing the corridor manically.  
  
His face was so red that Remus thought his head would blow up and splatter the walls with brains- did they even have brains? Technically they were just figments of Thomas' imagin- focus, Remus, focus.  
  
"Calm down, Jack Smellington. We just have to go in and find him," Roman said, rolling his eyes.  
  
Calm down? _Calm down?_  
  
Before he knew what he was doing, Remus picked his twin brother up by the collar and slammed him into the wall.  
  
"Calm down, Roman? How can we _calm_ _down?_ Janus used _my_ door to get into the Imagination, so he's closer to _my_ side of the Imagination! You know what goes on in there! He's not safe, the creatures are going to get him, Roman. He's going to die in there, have his insides smeared across a tree and his arms ripped from their sockets and it'll all be _my fault!"_  
  
And suddenly, for the second time that day, Remus was crying.  
  
He felt arms wrap around him, and he slowly let Roman down from the wall, burying his face in his twin's chest.  
  
"Janus is smart, Remus," he heard Roman murmur. "He'll be ok."  
  
Remus sniffed, pulling away. He wiped his nose on his sleeve, making everyone grimace.  
  
"You better be right, Ro-bro, or it's your head on the chopping block."  
  
Remus summoned a rusty axe, brandishing it menacingly. He allowed a baleful smile to grow on his face.  
  
"Literally."

\- **END OF GRAPHIC IMAGERY** \-   
  
Truth be told, Roman was scared.  
  
He tried his best to cover it up by putting on his usual 'insensitive moron' persona, but there was no denying it.  
  
Janus was in the Imagination, and he had no idea where. He was close to helpless in this situation, everyone was. There was no instant fix, they had to find him themselves, and pray that he was alright.  
  
That was how he found himself leading his group of friends through a dense forest, calling out desperately for Janus.  
  
"Janus!"  
  
"Janus, _please_!"  
  
"Jan, I'm sorry!"  
  
"Janus, kiddo, please come back to us!"  
  
"Janus, can you hear us?"  
  
Even Logan's voice had taken on a mildly worried tone now. That wasn't a good sign.  
  
They'd been searching for hours. Janus was nowhere to be found. Virgil sat down on a rock, covering his face with his hands. Roman sat beside him. To his surprise, Virgil shuffled closer, leaning his head on Roman shoulder.

"Tell me he's alright, Princey." The Anxious Side whispered brokenly. "Tell me this is all just a nightmare, and I'll wake up and Jan'll be there again, being his stupidly smug self."  
  
Roman wrapped an arm around Virgil's shoulders, tugging him even closer.  
"He's ok," he whispered back, right into Virgil's ear. He didn't comment when his shoulder began to dampen.  
  
"He has to be."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this chapter was good. I'm really getting into this now. I can't stop writing it.
> 
> Have a wonderful day!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janus craned his neck as far as it would go, trying in vain to find the source of the voice. He found nothing behind him.
> 
> "Oh, you silly thing. Over here, dear."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back again (not that it's much of a surprise) with chapter 6! 
> 
> Warning:   
> \- None that I can really think of
> 
> As always, if I've missed anything, scream at me in the comments (but nicely, I'm sensitive). 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Janus craned his neck as far as it would go, trying in vain to find the source of the voice. He found nothing behind him.   
  
"Oh, you silly thing. Over here, dear."   
  
There it was again, silky smooth and deceptively sweet.   
  
Janus turned back around, squeaking when he was met with the sight of a slender woman he'd never seen before.   
Her face was gaunt, sickly pale, and that, paired with her translucent skin, made her seem more like a ghost than an actual physical entity.   
  
The black dress she wore hung loosely off her frame, somehow accentuating her thin, bony features.   
  
She advanced towards him, almost mocking him with her slowness, scrutinising him with her inky black eyes.   
  
Janus didn't like her.   
  
She sat by him on the root, and he scooted away, as far as he could get. She clicked her tongue in what sounded like pity, trailing her frigid fingers up his arm.   
"Oh, poor dear. Driven away by your so-called friend and those good-for-nothing Lights, hmm?" She cooed, giving him a saccharine smile.   
  
Janus' eyes widened.   
  
How did she know?   
  
She chuckled at his expression, inspecting her nails.   
"Well, you're clearly not getting home, so I wonder, what should I do with you?"   
  
_What?_   
  
"N-no, I'll find my own way outta here."   
  
Janus couldn't help his squeaked protest. She chuckled again, low and sinister.   
"Poor little thing," she said, more to herself than him. "Still genuinely believes he can get out of here."   
  
"I-if I can't, they'll come for me. I know they will."   
Janus wasn't entirely sure why he said that. He remembered he was supposed to be mad at them, but the fuzziness was back with vengeance, clouding his mind and tearing his coherent thought process to shreds. He was supposed to be mad, but it was getting harder and harder to recall why.   
  
Her expression turned sharp and she stood, hooking one long acrylic nail under his chin, forcing his gaze upwards.   
  
"Why would they come, when they don't care?"   
  
Control was slipping, fast. Janus found he no longer had power over his own words.   
  
"T-they do care! Patton said so!" His voice rose in pitch mid-sentence.   
  
She said nothing, stepping back. Janus wondered briefly if she was going to leave him alone.   
  
He was wrong. 

Before his very eyes, the sleeves of her dress shortened and the lower half melted away, replaced by a pair of familiar brown pants. A cat hoodie grew around her shoulders and glasses placed themselves on her face.   
  
She was now a spitting image of Patton.   
  
She _was_ Patton. But, at the same time, she wasn't. The way she moved, the expression on her face radiated distain, and she towered over him in a very un-Patton-like way.   
  
"Lying is _wrong!"_   
  
Not-Patton's voice rang out, shaking the trees with his volume.   
  
Janus jumped, not expecting the outburst. Tears gathered in his eyes at the phrase he'd heard thousands of times before, from the very person stood in front of him.   
  
He blinked, and suddenly Not-Patton was replaced with Not-Logan, who glared at him with cold, calculating eyes. Before he could get a word out, Not-Logan pointed at him, accusatory finger so close to his face it was nearly touching his nose.   
  
" ** _Deceit!_** "   
  
Janus scrambled backwards until his head hit the tree trunk, tears of fear spilling from his eyes. The name echoed throughout the air, as if the forest itself was mocking his childish belief. Birds scattered.   
  
He wanted someone to come get him. He wanted to get outta there, away from the scary lady. He wanted someone, _anyone_.   
  
He wanted Ree.   
  
He wanted his big brother Vee.   
  
Even _Roman_ would be fine.   
  
_Anyone_ to get him out of there.   
  
Suddenly, Not-Logan was gone too, replaced with the scary lady again. She smiled, showing off her too-perfect teeth.   
  
She ran a hand through his hair, and he barely suppressed a shudder. It felt nothing like how Remus did it, not warm or fond, but instead like she was treating him as her pet. She leaned down. He could feel her breath on his ear.   
  
"Don't you see, little snake? _They don't care about you._ "   
  
\-   
  
Logan sighed.   
  
They had been searching for Janus in the Imagination for one hour, thirty four minutes and fifty six seconds... fifty seven seconds... fifty eight seconds... fifty nine-   
  
"Did you get that, Pocket Protector?"   
  
Logan blinked.   
"Hmm?"   
  
Roman rolled his eyes, gesturing vaguely at the ground by Logan's feet.   
"Watch the roots. They tend to get excited."   
  
Just as Logan was about to ask what that meant, Patton shrieked, shaking his leg around. He jumped into Logan's arms, clinging for dear life.   
  
Logan just barely managed to fend off the blush threatening to take over his face. Slowly, he let Patton down, ignoring Remus' knowing look.   
  
"What seems to be the problem, Patton?" He asked, more calmly than he felt.   
  
Patton pointed at the ground, hands shaking.   
"I-it _grabbed me!"_   
  
Logan crossed his arms.   
"Preposterous, Patton. How could the-"   
  
Something cold and damp curled around his ankle.   
  
If asked, Logan would deny to the day he ceased to exist that the scream that escaped him was 'girlish'.   
  
Remus was cackling, doubled over and beating his fist on his knee.   
Roman was in a similar position, near tears with laughter.   
Even Virgil was snickering behind his hand.   
  
Patton smirked, linking his arm through Logan's.   
"Now, what were you saying, Logan?"   
  
"Told you to watch the roots, nerd." Roman laughed.   
  
Logan failed to see how watching them would help the situation in any way. He opened his mouth to say as much, when something caught his eye.   
  
"That pile of leaves looks like it was disturbed recently," he said, matter of factly.   
  
Roman barely spared him a glance.   
  
"We do have _living creatures_ in here, Sherlock. Anything could've walked through there."   
  
Logan wasn't convinced. He walked closer, shifting aside some of the dead leaves with his foot, smirking at what he found.   
  
"Do any of your creatures happen to have _human footprints,_ Roman?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, well, seriously not as proud of that as I could be, but I've rewritten this more times than I'd care to admit, so I hope it's at least adequate. 
> 
> Hope you have a fantabulous day!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janus grabbed fistfuls of his hair, fighting back a whine. He hated that she was getting to him. Using his own tactics against him. 
> 
> Manipulating the emotional manipulator. 
> 
> Not only that, but he hated that she was hurting him so easily. Slipping effortlessly past his walls of steel. Exploiting weaknesses he didn't even know he had.  
> Most of all he hated that he couldn't do anything about it. She was teasing him, treating him as her plaything, and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. He was helpless. 
> 
> Utterly helpless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I spend days creating an OC antagonist for the sake of this story? Yes, yes I did. I hope you like her (or don't, because it's her job to be unlikable, I guess). 
> 
> Warnings:  
> \- again, I'm not sure if there are any, but there are some mentions of murder/death, because Remus, but other than that, nothing.
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!

_They don't care about you._

Janus had to face facts. It was true, as much as it destroyed him inside, they didn't care. They probably only came looking for Janus in the Subconscious out of moral obligation or something. Now he was stuck here, because he had to be stupid and dramatic, and _run away._  
  
What was he thinking?   
  
Scary Lady had gone back to shape shifting, this time turning into Remus.  
  
 _"You thought I cared about you, J-anus? What a joke!"_ Not-Remus cackled.   
  
Janus flinched at the mockery of his name. Remus had used it once and, upon seeing how much it hurt Janus' feelings, made a promise to never use it again.  
  
 _"How do you know he never used it again?"_ A traitorous voice chimed in his head.  
  
Janus whimpered, trying to push it away, silence it, but it wouldn't budge. He knew Remus never used it again, he hadn't heard the name come from his mouth since then! And Remus was his best- well, _ex-_ best friend, he wouldn't!   
  
_He didn't have to say it to you..._  
  
Remus had no one else to talk to! After Virgil left, it was only him and Janus! They made a promise never to talk to anyone else. They didn't _have_ anyone else...  
  
 _Virgil had been talking to the Lights under your nose for weeks... you don't know everything._  
  
Janus deflated. It was true. He _didn't_ know everything.  
  
And it scared him.  
  
-  
  
Patton wasn't sure how long they had been running, but he was getting tired.  
  
" _Stop!_ Stop, please!" He panted, slowing down.  
  
Everyone else slowed, looking just as exhausted as he did. Well, apart from Remus and Roman, but they did this on a regular basis!  
  
"The footprints ended ages ago! Where are we even running?"  
  
Just as Remus had opened his mouth to provide an answer, a shout rang out through the forest.  
  
" ** _Deceit!_** "  
  
Everyone's attention snapped to Logan. Virgil narrowed his eyes.

"Did you just..."  
  
Logan shook his head, looking ~~adorably~~ puzzled. Remus glanced around, looking like he was properly seeing the surroundings for the first time since they'd gotten there. Recognition flickered in his eyes. In an instant, he shot off, looking like a dog who's owner had just put out food.  
  
(Yes, Patton was aware the comparison was not at all appropriate for the situation at hand. No, he wasn't going to change his mind.)  
  
The rest of them (to Patton's chagrin) resumed running as well, following Remus. They ran deeper into the forest, and the trees shifted dramatically from being a beautiful, lush green to dark, damp and moldy. Patton whimpered, absently shifting closer to Logan, as the wind rushed through the hollow trunks, making a horrible groaning sound.  
  
What on earth was Janus doing _here_?  
  
Out of nowhere, they came to an abrupt stop. Patton was going to ask why, when-  
  
 _"You thought I liked you, J-anus? What a joke!"_ Remus laughed.

Well, Patton thought it _sounded like_ Remus, anyway. But the exclamation came from way too far away to actually have been the Creative Side, unless he was really good at throwing his voice.  
  
Speaking of Remus, the Creative Side leaned over to Roman, whispering something in his ear. Judging by the way Roman's face darkened, it wasn't something nice, like a funny joke about dogs.

Remus gave a low, animalistic growl, and Roman stared straight ahead with an uncharacteristically steely glare. The name that escaped his lips was not one that Patton recognised and, by the looks of it, neither did Logan or Virgil.  
  
" _Mara._ "  
  
-  
  
Janus tried his best to block out the sound of Scary Lady, but it was proving to be more and more difficult by the second.  
  
She'd given up shape-shifting again for the moment, but had instead taken to circling him like some sort of predator. Janus couldn't help but find that ironic, considering that he was supposed to be the snake.  
  
"Virgil, it's _me. Aren't we friends?_ " She whispered in his ear. It was a perfect mimicry of his mimicry of Patton.  
  
" _I'm not so sure we are,_ " came Virgil's gruff response.  
  
Janus grabbed fistfuls of his hair, fighting back a whine. He hated that she was getting to him. Using his own tactics against him.  
  
Manipulating the emotional manipulator.  
  
Not only that, but he hated that she was hurting him _so easily._ Slipping effortlessly past his walls of steel. Exploiting weaknesses he didn't even know he had.  
Most of all he hated that he couldn't do anything about it. She was teasing him, treating him as her plaything, and there was absolutely _nothing_ he could do about it. He was helpless.  
  
Utterly helpless.  
  
-  
  
Virgil was sick with worry at this point.  
  
"I don't like the look on your face, Princey. Who's Mara? And why does Remus look like he wants to kill someone?"  
  
"Oh, I _always_ want to kill someone!" Remus chimed, sounding only slightly more deranged than usual.  
  
Roman put his head in his hands, sighing quietly.  
"Mara," his voice was barely above a whisper. "Is the sole source of evil in the Imagination. The Queen of Darkness, Bringer of Nightmares-"  
  
"Wait, what about Remus?" Patton interrupted, before realising just what he had said and covering his mouth with his hand in horror.   
  
"My function is keeping Thomas awake," Remus responded, looking far too serious for Virgil's liking. For the first time, he was reminded that the Creative Twins surpassed him in age. "I bother him with more mature or disturbing thoughts, ones he may slightly ashamed of, but _never_ in my life would I dream of terrorising him. That's Mara's job."  
  
"I handle most of Thomas' dreams, sometimes with Remus' help, and we can usually keep her from influencing anything. _But_ , if our host is in a more-" Roman chose his words carefully. " _Vulnerable_ emotional state, our defences are weakened, and she can get in. Ergo, Thomas has nightmares after he's had a particularly _trying_ day."  
  
Virgil wasn't satisfied.  
"Ok, so what're we going to do?"  
  
Roman mulled over his words, advancing forwards and using his sword to slash through various... _spiky plants_ \- Virgil wasn't a botanist, ok!  
Through the space he'd created, Virgil could see a clearing, and a faint silhouette of a woman, towering over a shaking form.  
  
Janus, Virgil realised, with a pang of guilt.   
  
"She feeds off fear." Roman said, before anyone else could speak. "And, right now, Janus is giving her an all-you-can-eat buffet." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are heating up, people! We're nearing the end!
> 
> Have a spectacular day!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janus was tired.
> 
> Not sad.
> 
> Not scared.
> 
> Not angry.
> 
> Just... tired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter yet, people! 
> 
> Warnings:  
> \- Remus (doesn't say anything too bad, but still)  
> \- Janus' self-deprecating thoughts 
> 
> Anything I've missed, let me know. 
> 
> Enjoy!

"That doesn't answer my question, Princey. What do you suggest we do?" Virgil repeated, looking about as anxious as Remus felt.  
  
"Well, I don't know what to tell you, Dark and Stormy! Just because I _pretend_ to know everything doesn't mean I actually do!"  
  
"You'd think that someone who, I don't know, _runs this place,_ would have a better idea of how things in it work!"  
  
"Mara is not a _thing_! She's a her!"  
  
"Why are you defending her? She's hurting one of our friends!"  
  
"Oh, so _now_ he's our friend? What happened to him being a liar?"

"Well-"  
  
"Shut up! Both of you!" Remus whispered forcefully. "Are you _trying_ to blow our cover?"  
  
They were getting on his last nerve. He was two seconds away from ripping off their ears and feeding them to them. At the very least, they had the decency to look guilty.  
  
Remus leaned in, beckoning them all closer.  
"So here's what we'll do..."  
  
-  
  
Janus was tired.  
  
Not sad.  
  
Not scared.  
  
Not angry.  
  
Just... tired.  
  
He wasn't sure how long he'd been sitting there, with Scary Lady whispering things in his ear, effortlessly mimicking the others with spine-chilling accuracy.  
  
 _We wanted a liar's perspective..._  
  
Really, he wasn't sure why he was still clinging onto the hope that they'd come for him.  
  
Why should they?  
  
He was the slimy snake, evil to the core. He existed for the sole purpose of corrupting Thomas with his lies and slander.  
  
 _Hate this guy, and his creepy... snake face!_  
  
He was ugly. A scaly, horrible mutant creature.  
  
He wasn't human.  
  
He wasn't snake either.  
  
What was he, then?

A terrifying mixture of the two - scaly on one side, human on the other.  
  
A monster.  
  
 _Don't let him, or any of his friends, stick around that long_ _ **ever again.**_   
  
Janus remembered that one with striking clarity. Couldn't erase it from his mind. He was sure Virgil hadn't known he'd heard, but the words were spoken all the same.  
  
Spoken, and couldn't be taken back.  
  
 _We don't need to keep him here any longer than we have to._  
  
Ah, yes. Because he was only useful for finding out what the bad option was.  
Drag the snake from his chambers to see what he says. Then don't go with that under any circumstances. Whatever he says is absolutely non-negotiable, unethical.  
  
Janus curled in on himself. There was no point in hoping to be saved.  
  
They weren't coming, anyway.  
  
-  
  
Roman crept around the trees, careful not to make a sound. The last thing he needed to do was attract Mara's attention.  
He stayed low, crouching by tree stumps, hiding in bushes. Watching Mara's every move.  
  
Whatever she was doing, Roman hated how effective it was. All the fight had left Janus, defiance and cheek replaced with defeat. He looked more disheveled than Roman had ever seen him, hair sticking up in every direction, as if he'd ran his hand through it multiple times. His eyes were red rimmed and puffy.

Roman never wanted to see this side of Janus ever again. It scared him. As much as Janus annoyed him, he'd never wish this upon the other Side. No one deserved to have their thoughts messed with like this.  
  
 _He did it to you,_ his mind whispered. _He messed with your head, using flattery and sycophancy to get what he wanted. Make your goals align with his. To get you on his side._  
  
Roman pushed those thoughts away. He and Janus hadn't been civil with each other, it was true. But Janus had a job to do, and so did he.  
  
No amount of flattery could've swayed him unless he _wanted_ to be swayed. He was Creativity, of course he wanted to go to the callback! He was the Dreamer, and this was his _dream_. It was like denying a lion meat. It made no sense!  
  
So he couldn't blame everything on Janus. He _shouldn't_ blame everything on Janus. Because it wasn't all his fault.  
  
Roman emerged from the trees, careful to stay out of sight. He was directly behind Mara now, a few metres away from where she stood, terrorising Janus. But there was one thing Remus hadn't accounted for when relaying his plan.  
  
Janus himself.  
  
Roman watched as the Side's face lit up upon seeing him and, though it was endearing, it wasn't good for the plan _at all._ Mara froze mid-sentence, turning around slowly. She smiled.  
  
"Hello, Prince Roman."  
  
Roman gulped.  
  
-  
  
Patton's heart stopped when he realised Roman had been found out. This defeated the whole point of their plan. There was no surprise element to their attack anymore.  
  
The first domino had been toppled, and now they were all going to fall.  
  
Roman had drawn his sword now, brandishing it with a wild look in his eye that was strangely reminscient of Remus.  
  
Mara said something. Roman said something back.

Patton crept closer, itching to hear what was being said. He was pulled back by a hand on his wrist. He looked up to see Logan.  
  
What did Logan want? Did he want to hold hands? Patton would _love_ to hold hands with Logan. His hands were probably really soft and nice and smooth and-

"Patton, step back. You may be seen."  
  
Oh.

Well, ok then. Maybe Logan didn't want to hold hands. Maybe Patton was being stupid and jumping to conclusions-  
  
Logan shifted his grip, taking Patton's hand and intertwining their fingers. He tugged Patton closer until he was almost resting against the Logical Side's chest.  
  
"A-and-"  
  
Patton could've sworn he saw a blush on Logan's cheeks.  
  
"I don't want you to get hurt."  
  
Patton sighed, leaning into Logan. The situation wasn't made any better, and Patton still felt like a complete and utter dirtbag for treating Janus the way he did, but the ache in his chest was alleviated just a little and, for the moment, that was enough.  
  
-  
  
Remus was sure he'd never been so scared in his life.  
  
And he'd had his whole arm nearly sliced off once.  
  
Roman had been discovered, and his whole plan had been unravelled subsequently. There was no way to reach him, to help without giving away their position at the forest's edge. The Prince was all on his own now.  
  
He hated this feeling of helplessness. Hated it more than other people hated the sound of nails on a chalkboard, or drinking milk and lemonade mixed together.

He watched as Mara shifted, black dress shortening until the bottom half only reached her hips, and silver stripes drew themselves across her front. Watched as her hair grew shorter, the fringe turning grey, and a lime green sash made its home across her chest.  
  
Watched as she transformed into him.  
  
"Oh, Janny!" She giggled in a voice Remus loathed to admit was accurate. "How could I have _ever_ loved someone like you?"

Anger burned in his chest at the way Janus' shoulders slumped.  
  
She hurt Janus. His precious Janny.  
  
Before he knew what he was doing, he stood up to his full height, fiery determination smouldering in his eyes. Virgil grabbed his wrist, but he wrenched it away, advancing forwards out of their hiding spot. He came to stand on a tree stump at the very edge of the forest.  
  
All attention was on him. Perfect.  
  
"Janus," he started. "Janny, Jan-Jan. You're my best friend. My best friend in the entire world. There is not a Side I know that's as amazing as you-" he heard Roman make an offended noise, but elected to ignore it. "As your best friend, I know stuff. I'm not as dumb as everyone thinks I am. I know what you're thinking, but no, I would _never_ say that about you, haven't even thought it. And I'm sorry, I can't say this enough times. I'm so sorry, Jan. For hurting you, for doing something when I should've known better."  
  
Mara's form flickered.  
  
"You're a private person, and I had no right to ruin that. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you, I'm sorry I wasn't good enough. I'm sorry I got you into this mess, but _please_ Janus, if you believe nothing else, believe me when I say that I love you-" Remus' voice broke. A watery smile grew on Janus' face.  
  
"I love you with all my heart."  
  
Mara let go of her illusion hurriedly, having to preserve energy after a blow like that. Remus smirked upon seeing that her skin had become significantly more translucent than before.  
  
"What?" He asked in mock surprise. "Did that hurt?"  
  
She glared.  
  
-  
  
Roman stared at his twin in awe.  
  
Of course. How had he missed it?

 _"She feeds off fear," he'd said._  
  
And Janus had been giving her a lot of it.  
  
Remus was getting rid of the one thing she needed by disproving her words as she said them. When did he get so smart?  
  
When Mara shifted into him, Roman was ready for it. What he wasn't ready for, though, was what she said.  
  
" _Janus?_ " She scoffed, replicating his facial expressions perfectly. "What are you, a middle school librarian?"  
  
Oh no.  
  
How could he possibly bounce back from this? While Remus' words were false, something Janus' panicked brain had conjured itself, Roman's were something he had genuinely said. Words that had actually come out of his mouth.  
  
"J-Janus," Roman rushed to amend. The Side flinched at the sound of his own name. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Remus' fists clench.  
  
"Janus, I-" Roman swallowed. "I was wrong. Your name is beautiful, one of the most stunning ones I've ever heard. It radiates elegance, demands respect." A red blush blossomed on Janus' face, and a hint of a smile flashed across it. Mara's disguise flickered faintly.  
  
"I shouldn't have said it Janus, and I won't deny that I did, but you caught me at a weak moment. It was a low blow, because I felt threatened. I'd conditioned myself so much to think you were evil, that I didn't want to miss a chance to bring you down," Janus' expression fell slightly, but Roman continued. "But I couldn't have been more wrong, Janus. You don't corrupt Thomas, and your ideas are good, albeit a bit different. And I shouldn't have let my prejudice get in the way of befriending you." 

Janus bit his lip, looking down, but Roman could still see them turn upwards. Mara's illusion vanished once again, and she was semi-transparent now.  
  
Roman was sure she was out of tricks now, but nothing could've prepared him for what she did next.  
  
Her sleeves grew longer, and the lower half of her dress changed into a pair of black ripped skinny jeans. A purple and black patchwork hoodie formed around her shoulders.  
  
She'd turned into Virgil.

Not-Virgil spun to face Janus, staring him down. The words that left his mouth shocked them all.  
  
"You are _**not**_ my brother."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Penultimate chapter and, though there were many unexpected twists and turns, I'm right where I want to be! Yay! 
> 
> It was really hard to keep Remus and Roman in character with all the heartfelt speeches... 
> 
> Hope this chapter was good!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil knew what he had to do, he wasn't stupid. But what he was, was a coward.
> 
> He couldn't go out there, couldn't look Janus in the eye, couldn't bear to see the broken expression on his face.
> 
> He was a coward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter!! Can't believe it. This has evolved so much over the past week. It was originally meant to be an angsty two-shot of the Lights being mean to Jan and Remus comforting him. But look where we are now. Nine chapters, and a full on adventure story. What a rollercoaster of emotion. I really hope you've enjoyed reading this as much as I've enjoyed writing it! 
> 
> Warnings:  
> \- kinda angsty and heavy
> 
> Nothing I can think of besides that. Please let me know if I've missed anything.

Virgil's eyes widened.  
  
His heart was as good as broken at those words, and how vividly Janus remembered them, right down to the way his voice broke near the end.  
  
He felt light-headed with guilt.  
  
_(Janus walked in to see Virgil packing his duffle bag._  
  
_"Hey, Vee," he said cheerfully, a little perplexed. "What're you doing?"_  
  
_Virgil ignored him, continuing to stuff clothes haphazardly into his duffle._  
  
_"Vee?"_  
  
_Janus walked closer, shutting the door behind him tentatively._  
  
_"Vee, are you listening?")_  
  
Virgil knew what he had to do, he wasn't stupid. But what he _was,_ was a coward.  
  
He couldn't go out there, couldn't look Janus in the eye, couldn't bear to see the broken expression on his face.  
  
He was a coward.  
  
He could see both Patton and Logan staring at him, the former in disbelief and the latter in expectance.  
  
_Now they know what a monster you are._  
  
He peeked out of the bushes briefly, locking eyes with Remus. The Duke stared at him, eyes filled with unbelievable sorrow, a look that was completely and utterly _wrong_ on someone deterred by close to nothing.   
  
_You did this. This is your fault._  
  
He caught a glimpse of Janus, as well, but had to look away as soon as he did. The Side looked shattered, as if the words themselves had torn him to shreds. He had his hands cupped over his mouth in shock, and was staring straight ahead, unmoving.  
  
Mara regained all her opacity, looking almost healthy. She grinned.  
  
"What's the matter, little snake? Cat got your tongue?"  
  
That was it. 

Virgil pushed aside the plants with shaking hands, rising from behind the bush. His heart hammered in his chest.  
  
_(Virgil still didn't say a word. He zipped up his bag, shoulder checking Janus out of the way, wrenching open his door. The way Janus stumbled sent a shock of guilt through his heart._  
  
_But he was making the right decision._  
  
_"Vee! Vee, please! You're scaring me..."_  
  
_Janus followed him out of the room, calling after him desperately._  
  
_For once in his life he wished he didn't love Janus as much as he did.)_  
  
He walked forward, standing in line with Remus. He felt a hand grab his, lacing their fingers together and squeezing. He squeezed back.  
  
_("Vee-"_  
  
_Virgil couldn't take it anymore._  
  
_"I'm leaving to go live with the Lights."_  
  
_Silence._  
  
_Out of nowhere, Janus started laughing._  
  
_"T-that's a really good one, Vee-Vee! You really got me there!"_  
  
_Upon seeing the bag still clutched firmly in Virgil's hands, Janus' laughter changed tone gradually, becoming more of a nervous giggle, before tapering off entirely._  
  
_"Vee?")_

Taking several deep breaths, he finally looked up at Janus, mustering the best smile he could. It wasn't a very good one.  
  
Janus stared straight back, unseeing, as if he was looking through Virgil, rather than at him.  
  
He'd never seen Janus so broken.  
  
_("I'm not kidding. They offered me a place there."_  
  
_His voice was completely monotone, devoid of any emotion whatsoever. He couldn't help but think Logan would be proud._  
  
_Janus was gaping at him._  
  
_"Virgil, why?"_  
  
_Not Virge. Not Vee. Virgil._  
  
_He sighed, massaging his temple with his free hand._  
  
_"Don't you ever get sick of it? Sick of being the bad guy? Sick of being the odd one out? Sick of being the one they're afraid of?"_

_"You're not the only one, Virgil! You have me, you have Remus! We love you."_

_Virgil turned his back and kept walking, breezing past Remus in the kitchen._  
  
_"I know. That's the problem.")_  
  
"Janus," he said, hating how his throat clogged up at the name alone. Janus didn't react, merely staring right through him. He continued, hoping, _praying_ that Janus was listening. "I have many things that I've done, many things that I've said, that I regret in my life. But, by far, my biggest one would be leaving you and Remus behind in that dark, dusty-"  
  
"Spider-infested!" He heard Patton chime from behind him, oblivious as always. Despite the situation, he chuckled.  
  
"Spider-infested place."  
  
_(Janus looked crestfallen._  
  
_"It's a problem, Virgil?" His voice was small, timid._  
  
_Virgil almost broke at that, but stubbornly maintained his resolve._  
  
_"I don't need you and Remus, Janus. I've found better people." He said, hoping to elicit anger._  
  
_Anger was easier to deal with._  
  
_He only succeeded in making Janus sadder._

_"B-but, what about me?" He whispered. "I'm your family, your brother."_  
  
_There were tears shining in his eyes, and Virgil longed to wipe them away. To take it all back. To undo the hurt he'd caused._  
  
_He was too far gone._  
  
_"You are_ ** _not_** _my brother."_  
  
_He stormed out and didn't look back.)_  
  
"I did it because I thought it was what I needed to do. Though that it would make me happier if I made myself known to our host, stopped operating from the shadows. Thought I would feel better about myself if I left the darkness behind." Tears were beginning to form in Virgil's eyes.  
  
"I was wrong, Janus. I didn't need to do it. I wasn't happier. I didn't feel better. There wasn't a day that passed in the time I've been gone where I haven't regretted what I did with my whole entire being. I got what I wanted, but I lost what I had."  
  
Some light returned to Janus' eyes, and he finally looked like he was _seeing_ Virgil.  
  
"I don't deserve your forgiveness, I know, but I'm going to tell you I'm sorry anyway. I know you won't forgive me immediately, in fact, please _don't._ I need to work for it, earn it." Virgil allowed his tears to spill over. They fell down his face, streaking his eyeshadow.  
  
"You have a dumb, stupid, idiot for a brother, Janus." Virgil smiled at the way Janus lit up at the word 'brother'. "But this dumb, stupid idiot of a brother loves you."  
  
Mara flickered aggressively, before vanishing into a cloud of ash, unable to maintain a corporeal form any longer.  
  
\- 

Janus blinked, shaking his head as if he'd just been broken out of a trance. A wide smile grew on his face as he tried to stand.  
  
Tried.  
  
His knees buckled underneath him, and Roman rushed to catch him.  
  
"You alright, Janus?" The Prince asked breathlessly.  
  
Janus squirmed out of his grip, whining.  
  
Roman cocked his head in confusion.  
  
Oh. _Oh._  
  
Roman loosened his grip a little, allowing Janus to pull away if he wanted. To his surprise, Janus merely shuffled closer, burying his face in Roman's chest. The Prince crouched down, wrapping his arms tentatively around Janus.  
  
"Hey, buddy," he said with as much softness as he could muster. "How old are you right now?"  
  
Janus whined again, shaking his head. 

"Don't know?"  
  
Another head shake.  
  
"That's ok."  
  
He heard footsteps approaching from behind, catching sight of a purple hoodie and ripped jeans. He pulled Janus away from him, earning a feeble protest.  
  
"Hey, hey, it's ok," the Prince was quick to soothe. "Look who it is, your big brother Vee!"  
  
Virgil crouched beside him, smile more genuine than Roman had ever seen before. The apples of his cheeks were flushed red, and his eyeshadow glowed purple.  
  
He looked breathtaking.  
  
"Hey, Baby Dee," Virgil cooed, taking Janus from him gently. Roman let him, too enraptured by Virgil's happiness to try and stop him.  
  
Remus, Logan and Patton joined them both, smiling fondly. Remus waved a hand in their direction vaguely.  
  
"This is really cute and all, but don't you think we should get back?" He shivered. "It's freezing out here."  
  
Roman rolled his eyes.  
  
"You, like, _control_ this part of the Imagination, Trash Panda. You could've just increased the temperature. But yeah," he stood, stretching his arms above his head. "We should get going."  
  
With a snap of his fingers, they were back in the Light Side Common Room.  
  
Well, what he _thought_ was the Light Side Common Room.  
  
For some reason, it looked different, larger. He glanced down the hallway, finding two more doors than there were before. A green one, and a yellow one. Almost identical to the ones from the Subconscious.  
  
Roman grinned. Their resolution of issues had somehow triggered a shift in Thomas' brain. A step closer to acceptance.  
  
He he sat by Virgil on the couch, joining him in cooing over Janus, who was now dressed in black overalls and a pastel yellow t-shirt and chewing on a teether.  
  
Roman leaned over, planting a kiss on Janus' forehead gently. This wasn't over, he knew. They still had a lot to talk about, a lot to solve. The feeble apologies provided in the Imagination were more to get rid of Mara than anything else. Janus deserved more than that. A lot more.  
  
But that was for later. They needed to go one step at a time.   
  
Right now, Janus was smiling. And that, was a start. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we go, that's the end. I can't believe how quickly I got emotionally attached to this fic. I hope the ending lives up to expectations. 
> 
> (Also, did anyone get my subtle reference to Friends on the Other Side?)
> 
> It's the last day of 2020 (good riddance, you terrible year!) and so I hope you all have a fantastic new start! Happy 2021! 
> 
> Before I (potentially) disappear from your lives forever, I was thinking of starting a series in this universe, with some (hopefully less angsty) fics, mostly just fluff with Little Janus. I was wondering if anyone would be interested in reading that at all. 
> 
> Now, that's it from me!  
> Your friendly neighbourhood Anon, signing off!  
> Bye <3

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always appreciated, let me know what you think!  
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
